This is an opinion blog site. The difference here is that opinions on this site are better than everyone else’s, so welcome to being enlightened.
A footnotes addon is used for sprinkling enhancements throughout posts on the site. To view them, tap or click numbers like this: [footnote]You follow instructions well. Now send me a check for $5,000, then tap or click this again to make it go away.[/footnote]
I am not soliciting anyone to do so, but should anyone wish to contact me, they may do so through the Unsolicited Tips page. I strongly encourage you to follow me on Twitter @JayOrsi, and to like my Facebook page. Doing so will ensure that you are not deprived of my opinions.
I may piss you off. Deal with it.[footnote]Captain Obvious says: “Did you see above where Jay said this was an opinion blog and that he was an asshole?”[/footnote][footnote]FFS Captain Obvious! I said everyone HAS an asshole. I am a SMARTASS, not an asshole. BIG DIFFERENCE. Dipshit.[/footnote] My wife has a fabulous saying: “I don’t like you, you don’t like me, this is working for me.” If you fall into that category, let’s not fix something that is working as intended, m’kay?
You may feel I have said something that is wrong. Please engage in respectful conversation, but be aware that English is my second language and sarcasm is my native tongue. I always like it when people try to speak my native tongue. Explain the reasons why you think the Guru is wrong, and I will explain where your logic is flawed. In the event I am narrowly convinced that your argument has merit, I will either assimilate your argument as my own, or I will storm off and sulk in the corner – it just depends on how moody I am that day.
If you’re an asshole and are overly rude and abusive, I’ll ban your ass without thinking twice about it. Be kind, be courteous, or be gone. In other words, be mindful that you don’t jump from the “being sarcastic” category to the “being an asshole” category. If you don’t know how to straddle that divide, I suggest taking sarcasm classes.
And as with any site, there’s always the fine print:
Terms and conditions may apply. This site may cause nausea, vomiting, incontinence, or temporary blindness while driving. Use with caution. While supplies last (order now!) No guarantees implied. Your mileage may vary (or kilometerage). Not available in certain states.[footnote]Of mind[/footnote] For indoor or outdoor use only. Not for use by small children.[footnote]That’s why we have ovens and barbecue sauce[/footnote] If effects last for more than four hours, brag and link on all social media sites. Void where prohibited.