Unsolicited Guru

Things you didn't know you needed to know.


Unsolicited Guru

Unsolicited Guru

This is an opinion blog site.  The difference here is that opinions on this site are better than everyone else’s, so welcome to being enlightened.

A footnotes addon is used for sprinkling enhancements throughout posts on the site. To view them, tap or click numbers like this: [footnote]You follow instructions well.  Now send me a check for $5,000, then tap or click this again to make it go away.[/footnote]

I am not soliciting anyone to do so, but should anyone wish to contact me, they may do so through the Unsolicited Tips page. I strongly encourage you to follow me on Twitter @JayOrsi, and to like my Facebook page. Doing so will ensure that you are not deprived of my opinions.


(a.k.a Terms of Use, Conditions, Disclaimers, and all that shit)

I may piss you off.  Deal with it.[footnote]Captain Obvious says: “Did you see above where Jay said this was an opinion blog and that he was an asshole?”[/footnote][footnote]FFS Captain Obvious! I said everyone HAS an asshole.  I am a SMARTASS, not an asshole.  BIG DIFFERENCE.   Dipshit.[/footnote]   My wife has a fabulous saying: “I don’t like you, you don’t like me, this is working for me.”  If you fall into that category, let’s not fix something that is working as intended, m’kay?

You may feel I have said something that is wrong.  Please engage in respectful conversation, but be aware that English is my second language and sarcasm is my native tongue.  I always like it when people try to speak my native tongue.   Explain the reasons why you think the Guru is wrong, and I will explain where your logic is flawed.  In the event I am narrowly convinced that your argument has merit, I will either assimilate your argument as my own, or I will storm off and sulk in the corner – it just depends on how moody I am that day.

If you’re an asshole and are overly rude and abusive, I’ll ban your ass without thinking twice about it.  Be kind, be courteous, or be gone.  In other words, be mindful that you don’t jump from the “being sarcastic” category to the “being an asshole” category.  If you don’t know how to straddle that divide, I suggest taking sarcasm classes.

And as with any site, there’s always the fine print:

Terms and conditions may apply. This site may cause nausea, vomiting, incontinence, or temporary blindness while driving. Use with caution. While supplies last (order now!) No guarantees implied. Your mileage may vary (or kilometerage). Not available in certain states.[footnote]Of mind[/footnote] For indoor or outdoor use only. Not for use by small children.[footnote]That’s why we have ovens and barbecue sauce[/footnote] If effects last for more than four hours, brag and link on all social media sites.  Void where prohibited.



  1. What a pluerase to meet someone who thinks so clearly

  2. Wohh exactly what I was looking for, thanks for posting . “Arguments are like fire-arms which a man may keep at home but should not carry about with him.” by Samuel Butler.

  3. Très juste Boubou!Quoi de plus délicieux que d’instrumentaliser le corps des hommes mmm? Je vous le demande!Surtout quand il est ainsi offert dans un boxer immaculé… Enfin j’espère.

  4. I disagree Dan, I think the spaces are wide enough so long as you cycle slowly and considerately there, which you should in a pedestrian priority area anyway of course. What's undeniable is how much better the area is compared to the previous lay out – it makes me wonder what all the controversy was about in the first place!

  5. Schlimmer als dem Nach Hause Weg vom Oktoberfest.. haha.Und ich dachte der Verkehr in Richtung Kenting am Spring Scream Wochenende war schlimm…Grüße in den Norden aus KHH

  6. It’s pretty complex with the IDF’s procedures regarding how they operate. Not many orthodox jews are in the Israeli Military, in fact most of Israel is Atheist.Basically, if Israel is attacked they shit can whatever they are doing and go about fighting back. I guess the big word here is “Orthodox Jew” there’s a big line between them and the regular Goldstein. Basically the IDF is like the American Military, ready to go at a moment’s notice.

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  8. Number 2 really resonated with me because I saw a very dear friend lose one of his businesses over fear. He needed to expand but he was afraid of stretching too thin. Eventually a competitor basically ripped off his idea and took it where my friend wouldn’t. That same competitor put my friend out of business in a year.I guess it’s like they say: Fortune Favors the bold.

  9. Sorry about the blurry password Adam. I have trouble figuring it out also, if I’m on the network. I always make sure to copy my comment before making a guess at the password, just in case, so I have other chances to submit my comment.

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